He's Gone
by MinisterSweetGoodKid
Summary: Oneshot. Simba's thoughts and feelings after the stampede


**Author's Note: **Okay, this is my first oneshot so I hope it's good. This is Simba's thoughts as his father fell, what he felt when he found the king's body and the wanderings of his mind as his uncle spoke… Enjoy!

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

My mouth was wide open, my eyes showing instant fear. My heart pounded inside of my chest. I was frozen. I couldn't move. I had just watched the lion I loved, admired and in a lot of ways worshipped, my own father, fall into the still stampeding herd of wildebeest. My mind was forcing me to move, to go down into the gorge to see if he had somehow, miraculously, survived.

I turned and ran down from the cliff I had managed to climb up when my father grabbed me and set me on the lower ledge. I stumbled down the rocks I had climbed to get to the top. Now I was on the lower ledge. I went down, down, down and down again. It must've been about five or six ledges but I wasn't counting.

My mind screamed at me, "Get to your dad, get to your dad… find him and let's get out of this horrible place."

As I continued going down the last few ledges, the last of the wildebeest herd was leaving, kicking up dust and dirt as they did. The last bit had about fifty of those animals, maybe more. But I didn't count. I had to get to my father. Finally, after some minutes my paws hit the gorge's bottom. The dust was all around me. I felt blind. I turned a few times and lowered my head. The dust seeped into my nose and mouth, suffocating me. I coughed a few times and managed to speak, or yell.

"Dad!"

The word echoed around me. I turned again and walked about the area, my ears perking every few steps for any sign or step of my dad. I had hoped he was all right. I walked again, my paws acting as though they were prancing on the dusty ground. I allowed my eyes to search left and right, my ears still rising in their hopeful position. I looked again and heard steps, loud ones.

I turned my head to the right, my eyes and gaze hopeful.

"Dad?" I called again in a quiet and still hopeful voice.

But the steps were not what I expected them to be. It was a wildebeest, probably one of the last. It came at me and I half expected it to come at me but it didn't. Instead, it swerved and ran around something. I squinted my eyes, waiting for some of the dust and or mist to clear to get a better look. When the dust did settle a few seconds later my eyes grew wide. It was a body, the body of a lion. It was lying underneath a half broken dead tree. It hung over the lion like a final resting place. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I had hung onto to that tree only moments ago. I had thought for sure when a wildebeest broke it that I was done for as I flew into the air, heading straight into the stampede but he, my dad, had saved me. And now… My ears perked up and my mouth fell open. I hoped it wasn't true. I hoped it wasn't him. I wanted to yell but couldn't find the words. But I had to find out so I carefully walked over but my paws wanted me to run up so I did but did so with caution. I came upon the body of the lion, examining it closely. The body was bruised and battered. I came up to see his face and my worst fear, my worst realization had been realized. This is where my dad had fallen… this lion was my dad.

Looking on his face was scary and saddening. His left forepaw was at his side, his closed, his mane all dusty, and sticking out in a few places. Again, with caution, I approached, a part of me hoping he would wake up. I looked on him, my heart beating.

"Dad?" I said again, hoping that my voice wouldn't break. No response. Now, I was really scared. "Dad, come on…" I moved up to rub my small body against his muzzle, pushing myself hard up against it. I had to try anything to wake him. "You gotta get up."

I removed myself but his head fell back down to the ground. "Dad…?" I rose up onto my hind legs, my forepaws resting against his soft mane like they had done so many times before only his mane was covered in dust. I shook him urgently. "We gotta go home."

My eyes were threatening to unleash the emotion I was feeling but I couldn't bring myself to allow them. I panted and ran up and around him, carefully climbing on him. I took his ear in my jaws. I tugged and pulled at it. I knew that it always got him up. I stopped and looked back. Nothing. No movement. I was shocked, surprised and saddened all the more. I looked in front of me and turned around, doing the same, my eyes now growing desperate. I ran a few steps away, yelling.

"Help!" I ran some more, a few steps. The word just echoed. The dust grew all around me. I was alone in the gorge but I prayed someone would come. But would anyone come? Could anyone even hear me? I had to try again. "Somebody!" Another echo. "Anybody?" My tone had been soft but the emptiness picked it up. That word also echoed.

My mind was spinning and I looked around. The new realization hit me with unexpectedness. I began sniffing.

"Help…" I said in a now weakened voice.

My emotions finally came up. Tears now sprang to my eyes. I couldn't help it now. My father, my hero and my idol, was gone… I lowered my head, feeling the tears come from my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. My heart was torn and my mind split. I sniffed for a moment and slowly lifted my head. I turned, looking on the still body of my dad. With a sad expression and weak legs I turned completely and walked up to him, going towards his left paw. I put my head underneath it, allowing it to rest against my back and pulled myself towards him, wanting to feel as much of his remaining warmth against my small body as I could.

With his large once loving paw upon my back, I lowered myself to the floor of the dusty ground, resting my tearstained face near his. My body was exhausted. I had never felt so alone or so afraid in my life. I felt a large part of me dying. The gorge's stillness, the rolling dust and fog covered both his body and mine. The quietness was eerie and almost haunting.

I looked on his face again, still not believing it. Without realizing as I was too wrapped in my newfound grief, the words dad had spoken only a few days ago came to the depths of my mind.

"When we die, our bodies become the grass…"

_When we die… Dad. I never knew we could die so young… why you? I love you! I never got the chance to say that! Father…_

My eyes were feeling heavy. I wanted to cry more but my body was badly weakened. I allowed the sleep to overtake me.

How long I, laid, there, I wasn't sure but I wasn't about to move. I heard a familiar voice speak my name.

"Simba."

At the sound, I managed to lift my head, a tear streaming down my cheek. I looked into the green eyes of my uncle. He stood there, his head slightly raised with a shocked yet emotionless look on his face.

"What have you done?" he asked in a bone chilling whisper.

I immediately withdrew myself from the fading warmth of my father's paw. As I moved, his paw fell back to the dusty floor creating a small puff of dust. I felt like choking but couldn't. My face was wet with my tears.

"T-the wildebeest," I managed to say. "Tried to save me…" I was on the verge of being inconsolable. "It was an accident… I didn't mean for it to happen."

I shook my head, trying to convince myself of that. It was an accident. I knew that. Some more tears fell from my eyes. I shook my head again and sniffed. I turned my head from my uncle who was coming over to me in that moment, to my father, whose majestic head would never rise again. I wanted him to wake up. I wanted to hear his wonderful deep voice again. I knew it was impossible. He was gone. His unmoving body was evidence of that. I felt responsible. In a way I knew I was but I needed a second opinion. My heart was still pounding yet it felt shattered. I sniffed, trying to shake off a sob but it came anyway. I turned again, carefully moving away from my father. My uncle was coming towards me.

"Of course, of course you didn't," I heard Uncle Scar say. In the chilling air I could feel that he was right above me, possibly sitting. Taking a small side-glance I noticed that he was indeed sitting and held a paw over my head as if to pull me close to him. I wished he would.

He continued speaking in a somber voice. "No one…" I heard him pause but didn't pay any mind. He wrapped a forepaw; his right, around my body, pulling me close. I buried my tearstained face in his left foreleg. He patted me gently. "Ever means for these things to happen." I wanted to forget that it ever happened in that moment but then he spoke the words that in a way shocked me, but in another, didn't.

"But the King is dead…"

I looked up at him, some more tears falling down my face. My eyes were wide at this realization but my heart and mind were already convinced. I had accepted this fact but hearing it from family made it all the more true. I was still a cub and not ready to rule as I was destined to. That meant my own uncle would rule until I grew up.

"And if it weren't for you, he'd still be alive," Scar said, looking down at me.

This made me feel horrible. The emotions now welling up inside me were all but mixed. He did have a point, my uncle. It was my fault. I roared at that animal that came down as I lied on the rock. The wildebeest must've heard and that's what's scared them into the gorge. I shouldn't have roared. If I hadn't my father would indeed still be alive. We'd be heading home now and everything would be all right. But nothing was all right, in fact nothing would be the same again and I was responsible. I put my face against my uncle's foreleg as another tear came down my face.

Suddenly the lean lion gasped. I looked up, wondering.

"Oh! What will your mother think?" He looked down at me, shocked.

He had a point. What would my mother think? Would she accept the fact that it was an accident? Was I still her son? Was I really meant to rule after her and my father as King of the Pridelands? After all of this, I wasn't sure. I felt that I wasn't worthy to take up the duties… even if I am still a cub… Then I thought about something else… what about Nala? She would be deeply surprised and shocked that I, her best friend would kill his own father. Would she still want me as a friend? What would her feelings be about me as we grew up? I knew that she would never look at me the same way again. Then there were the lionesses of the pride. They wouldn't want a cub that killed their king to rule at all. If I didn't have the trust of the pride I wouldn't have the trust of the animals. Because of my one accident I felt that I would plunge the whole of the Pridelands into nothingness.

I sniffed and yet more tears. I felt I had cried enough this terrible day but the grief was too intense. I sniffed and looked up at my uncle.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked, wondering if he had an idea. Could he convince the pride that it was an accident? Could he convince them that I was meant to rule in spite of all this? What he said next crushed my hopes.

I pulled away from him.

"Run away Simba," Scar said, looking down at me with eyes that said, 'you must run unless you want an angry pride coming at you.'

I looked back at my father. I wished he'd wake up but that would not happen and it really was all, my fault.

"Run," Scar spoke again. I turned back to see him, his eyes bearing into mine. "Run. Run away and never return."

I stood there for a moment. Again, like on the cliff as I had seen this great and powerful lion fall to his death, yet now lying lifeless, I was completely frozen but I had no choice. The pride would not want me, not as their prince and not as their future king. My mother would not want me as her son. Nala would not want me as a friend. Only Uncle Scar cared and he felt that if I was to save my life that I must leave the only home I had ever known.

I turned and scampered away, kicking the dust at my feet as I did. I managed to look back as I ran but only for a few seconds that I stared at the winding road, gazing up at the long walls all around me. As I ran it felt like they were closing in on me. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was running away from home but it was either that or possibly die so what choice did I have. I realized then that I was no longer prince but a self-exile.


End file.
